Incorporate jc's wording suggestions for the CFP

1 files changed, 21 insertions, 18 deletions

diff --git a/2023/cfp.org b/2023/cfp.org
index 68623cce..15bfa916 100644
--- a/2023/cfp.org
+++ b/2023/cfp.org
@@ -110,7 +110,7 @@ stream of quick ideas followed by lots of conversation over IRC and/or
 Q&A sessions, with occasional deep dives into topics that many people
 might find interesting or useful.
 
-As you think about your talk, consider what you can share in:
+As you think about your talk, consider whether you can squeeze everything in:
 
 - *Up to 10 minutes total:* What is the core idea?  What do you want
   people to do or remember?  You can show just enough to get people
@@ -125,27 +125,30 @@ As you think about your talk, consider what you can share in:
 - *Up to 40 minutes total:* What would benefit from a deep dive?
   How do you keep it engaging?
 
-When writing your proposal, please write an outline of what you plan
-to talk about if you have 5-10 minutes. If you'd like to propose a
-longer talk, add an outline of what you might include if you had more
-time to present (up to 40 minutes, including Q&A).
+Think of 20+ minutes presentation as extensions of the 10-minute
+presentation. If you are aiming at the 10-minute presentation, just
+write an outline of what you plan to talk about if you have 5-10
+minutes. If you’d like to propose a longer talk, add an outline of
+what you might add to the first part if you had more time to present
+(up to 40 minutes, including Q&A).
 
-Here's an example for a potentially 40-minute talk. Your proposal
-would include all three sections:
+20 minutes seems to be the best length for a presentation: short
+enough to keep people's attention, long enough to get into some
+details. There will be time for questions and answers after your talk,
+so you don't need to include that in your talk timing.
+
+Here's an example proposal for a 20-minute talk. Your proposal
+would include the 10- and 20- minute sections:
 
 - 10 minutes: quick demo of the abc package working together with xyz
   package.
 - 20 minutes: same as above, with some customization options to
   accommodate a different workflow.
-- 40 minutes: all of the above, including modifying the behaviour of
-  the package in order to add something new.
-
-(If you're planning a shorter talk, you don't need to describe longer
-ones.)
 
-This flexibility would help us in devising the conference schedule so
-that as many people as possible could get a chance to present their
-ideas, while still allowing for featuring longer deep dive talks.
+Describing what you'd cover in different talk lengths gives us
+flexibility in scheduling talks so that as many people as possible
+can get a chance to present their ideas, while still allowing for
+featuring longer deep dive talks.
 
 Other session formats such as tutorials, workshops, and hangouts are
 welcome as well, in case you would find those other formats preferable
@@ -154,9 +157,9 @@ session types, please let us know [[https://lists.gnu.org/mailman/listinfo/emacs
 happy to work something out with you.
 
 This year, we'd like to experiment with accepting proposals throughout
-the CFP process, particularly for 10-20 minute talks. If there are
-similar proposals, we'll work with people so that the talks can cover
-different facets.
+the CFP process, particularly for 10-20 minute talks. (Another reason
+to propose a short talk!) If there are similar proposals, we'll work
+with people so that the talks can cover different facets.
 
 * Preparing and submitting your proposal