incorporate jc's suggestions

1 files changed, 52 insertions, 101 deletions

diff --git a/2023/cfp.md b/2023/cfp.md
index f9d86471..2ae12f70 100644
--- a/2023/cfp.md
+++ b/2023/cfp.md
@@ -10,19 +10,21 @@ Copyright © 2023 Sacha Chua"]]
 [[!template id=pagedraft]]
 
 
-# Call for Participation
+# About EmacsConf
+
+[EmacsConf 2023](https://emacsconf.org/2023/) is about the joy of and Emacs Lisp. Come share your experiments and adventures
+with the Emacs text editor / operating system / way of life! We welcome speakers of ****all backgrounds**** and ****all levels of experience****,
+including newcomers giving their first talk. What have you found exciting about Emacs lately? What do you wish someone had told you when you
+were starting out? What part of your workflow might inspire someone to get into Emacs or go deeper?
+
+All kinds of people use Emacs for all kinds of things. We'd love it if EmacsConf 2023 could highlight interesting perspectives and reflect the diversity of our community. If you know someone who might have a good idea for a talk, please reach out to them and encourage them to submit a proposal. Many people (especially from underrepresented groups such as women, people of colour, non-developers, etc.) might not consider themselves proficient enough to share their thoughts. If you let them know that you value their knowledge and experiences, and maybe even suggest something that you think others would like to hear about, they may realize that they do have something worth sharing and that we would love to hear from them.
+
+
+# Call for participation
 
 [EmacsConf 2023](https://emacsconf.org/2023/) will be a virtual conference on **December 2 and 3,
 2023 (Sat-Sun)**.  If you'd like to present at the conference, please
-[submit your proposal](https://emacsconf.org/2023/cfp/) by **September 14, 2023 (Friday)**.
-
-EmacsConf 2023 is about the joy of [Emacs](https://www.gnu.org/software/emacs/) and Emacs Lisp.  Come share
-your experiments and adventures with the Emacs text editor / operating
-system / way of life!  We welcome speakers of **all backgrounds** and
-**all levels of experience**, including newcomers giving their first
-talk.  What have you found exciting about Emacs lately?  What do you
-wish someone had told you when you were starting out?  What part of
-your workflow might inspire someone to get into Emacs or go deeper?
+**[submit your proposal](https://emacsconf.org/2023/cfp/)** by **September 14, 2023 (Friday)**.
 
 A great way to get started with writing a proposal is to start by
 exploring the programs from previous years: [2022](https://emacsconf.org/2022/talks/), [2021](https://emacsconf.org/2021/schedule/), [2020](https://emacsconf.org/2020/schedule/), [2019](https://emacsconf.org/2019/schedule/), [2015](https://emacsconf.org/2015/schedule/),
@@ -32,17 +34,9 @@ IRC channel `#emacsconf` on `irc.libera.chat` and say hi.  You can
 join the chat using [your favourite IRC client](ircs://irc.libera.chat:6697/emacsconf), or by visiting
 [chat.emacsconf.org](https://chat.emacsconf.org) in your web browser.
 
-All kinds of people use Emacs for all kinds of things.  We'd love it
-if EmacsConf 2023 could highlight interesting perspectives and reflect
-the diversity of our community.  If you know someone who might have
-a good idea for a talk, please reach out to them and encourage them to
-submit a proposal.  Many people (especially from underrepresented
-groups such as women, people of colour, non-developers, etc.) might
-not consider themselves proficient enough to share their thoughts.
-If you let them know that you value their knowledge and experiences,
-and maybe even suggest something that you think others would like to
-hear about, they may realize that they do have something worth sharing
-and that we would love to hear from them.
+This year, we'd like to experiment with accepting proposals throughout
+the CFP process. If there are similar proposals, we'll work with
+people so that the talks can cover different facets.
 
 
 # Important dates
@@ -93,11 +87,9 @@ For EmacsConf 2023, we are planning for 9am to 5pm Toronto/EST
 If you are not available during the conference itself but you have a
 neat idea that you'd like to share, please propose it anyway!  You can
 always handle questions after the conference, and we might even be
-able to coordinate with other Emacs meetups for regional events (if
-you're an Emacs meetup organizer and would like to make this happen
-let's [get in touch](https://emacsconf.org/contact/)!).
-
-<a name="formats"></a>
+able to coordinate with other Emacs meetups for events in other timezones. (If
+you're an Emacs meetup organizer and would like to make this happen,
+let's [get in touch](https://emacsconf.org/contact/)!)
 
 
 # Talk formats
@@ -108,45 +100,21 @@ stream of quick ideas followed by lots of conversation over IRC and/or
 Q&A sessions, with occasional deep dives into topics that many people
 might find interesting or useful.
 
-As you think about your talk, consider whether you can squeeze everything in:
+Formats:
 
--   **Up to 10 minutes total:** What is the core idea?  What do you want
-    people to do or remember?  You can show just enough to get people
-    interested and then point them to where they can learn more
-    afterwards.  You can answer questions over IRC, the pad, or the
-    wiki, and there's no limit to how long that conversation can go.
-
--   **Up to 20 minutes total:** How would you flesh out some of the points
-    from your 5-10 minute presentation?  How can you show the pieces
-    working together?
-
--   **Up to 40 minutes total:** What would benefit from a deep dive?
-    How do you keep it engaging?
-
-Think of 20+ minutes presentation as extensions of the 10-minute
-presentation. If you are aiming at the 10-minute presentation, just
-write an outline of what you plan to talk about if you have 5-10
-minutes. If you’d like to propose a longer talk, add an outline of
-what you might add to the first part if you had more time to present.
-20 minutes seems to be the best length for a presentation: short
-enough to keep people's attention, long enough to get into some
-details.
+-   **5-10 minute lightning talk:** Just the essentials! If you can
+    squeeze your prerecorded talk into 5-10 minutes by focusing on the
+    essentials (not by talking faster!), we might be able to repeat it
+    during the conference in order to fill gaps.
+-   **20-minute talk:** short enough to keep people's attention, long
+    enough to get into some details.
 
 There will be time for questions and answers after your talk, so you
-don't need to include that in your talk timing.
-
-Here's an example proposal for a 20-minute talk. Your proposal
-would include the 10- and 20- minute sections:
-
--   10 minutes: quick demo of the abc package working together with xyz
-    package.
--   20 minutes: same as above, with some customization options to
-    accommodate a different workflow.
-
-Describing what you'd cover in different talk lengths gives us
-flexibility in scheduling talks so that as many people as possible
-can get a chance to present their ideas, while still allowing for
-featuring longer deep dive talks.
+don't need to include that in your talk timing. Just like in EmacsConf
+2022, you can answer questions via a BigBlueButton room, IRC, the
+Etherpad, the wiki, or e-mail (your choice). The stream will move on
+to the next talk at the scheduled time, but interested people can keep
+hanging out with you for a longer conversation.
 
 Other session formats such as tutorials, workshops, and hangouts are
 welcome as well, in case you would find those other formats preferable
@@ -154,26 +122,28 @@ to a traditional talk format.  If you're interested in these or other
 session types, please let us know [publicly](https://lists.gnu.org/mailman/listinfo/emacsconf-org) or [privately](https://lists.gnu.org/mailman/listinfo/emacsconf-org-private).  We'll be
 happy to work something out with you.
 
-This year, we'd like to experiment with accepting proposals throughout
-the CFP process, particularly for 10-20 minute talks. (Another reason
-to propose a short talk!) If there are similar proposals, we'll work
-with people so that the talks can cover different facets.
-
 
 # Preparing and submitting your proposal
 
-We're aware that it can be challenging and intimidating to prepare and
-submit a proposal to a conference, and we want to help make it less
-so.  Come say hi to us on our IRC channel `#emacsconf` on
-`irc.libera.chat`, and we'd be happy to try and answer any questions
-or concerns you may have about writing your proposal or submitting it.
-We'd also love to receive suggestions on how we can best help you and
-other prospective speakers interested in giving a talk at EmacsConf.
+It can be challenging and intimidating to prepare and submit a
+proposal to a conference, and we want to help make it less so. Come
+say hi to us on our IRC channel `#emacsconf` on `irc.libera.chat`, and
+we'd be happy to try and answer any questions or concerns you may have
+about writing your proposal or submitting it. We'd also love to
+receive suggestions on how we can best help you and other prospective
+speakers interested in giving a talk at EmacsConf.
 
 Once you're ready to submit your proposal, the [submit](https://emacsconf.org/2023/submit/) page has the
-instructions on how to submit your talk.  The submissions will then be
-reviewed by a selection committee (please [let us know](https://emacsconf.org/contact/) if you would
-like to help review submissions as part of this committee).
+instructions on how to submit your talk.
+
+If you'd like to propose something other than a talk, like restreaming
+the conference, you can also use this CFP to share your ideas with us.
+
+
+# What happens after you submit your proposal?
+
+The submissions will be reviewed by a selection committee. ([Volunteers
+welcome!](https://emacsconf.org/2023/volunteer/))
 
 If your talk is approved, we'd love it if you could help us make sure
 the conference runs smoothly.  After we email you with the time
@@ -182,14 +152,11 @@ allotted for your talk, we'll ask you to
 -   prepare a prerecording of your talk, or record it with our help if
     that'd be easier for you; and
 
--   schedule a short tech-check if you'd like to be able to answer
-    questions in a live session.
-
-Don't forget to subscribe to our main mailing list, [emacsconf-discuss](https://lists.gnu.org/mailman/listinfo/emacsconf-discuss),
-for discussion and announcements about the EmacsConf conference.
+-   schedule a short tech-check if you'd like to answer questions in a
+    live session.
 
-If you'd like to propose something other than a talk, like restreaming
-the conference, you can also use this CFP to share your ideas with us.
+Subscribe to our main mailing list, [emacsconf-discuss](https://lists.gnu.org/mailman/listinfo/emacsconf-discuss), for discussion
+and announcements about the EmacsConf conference.
 
 We look forward to your ideas and submissions!
 
@@ -198,25 +165,9 @@ We look forward to your ideas and submissions!
 
 If you would like to help with the conference (planning the sessions,
 reviewing proposals, helping with infrastructure, making sessions more
-accessible, editing video transcripts, etc.), see our [planning](https://emacsconf.org/2023/planning/) page
+accessible, editing video transcripts, etc.), see our [volunteer](https://emacsconf.org/2023/volunteer) page
 and come say hi to us at `#emacsconf` on `irc.libera.chat`.
 
-Importantly, as EmacsConf continues to grow and receive increasingly
-more talk/session proposal submissions each year, we have thought
-about adding multiple parallel tracks during the conference days to
-accommodate the large number of sessions.  However, we're currently
-a very small team and we would need your help to do it!  If you're
-interested in helping stream a parallel EmacsConf track and have a
-reliable internet connection with decent speed and bandwidth, please
-[get in touch](https://emacsconf.org/contact/) with us so we can help get you set up for streaming.
-We'd also likely need more volunteers still for each track, for
-example a host for that track to announce the next talk (this can also
-be done by the streamer if the streamer is interested and able to) and
-another volunteer to help check in speakers of upcoming live sessions.
-
-If you are interested and able to help with any of the above, please
-reach out to us; we'd love to have your help!
-
 In addition to the [emacsconf-discuss](https://lists.gnu.org/mailman/listinfo/emacsconf-discuss) list, feel free to subscribe to
 [emacsconf-org](https://lists.gnu.org/mailman/listinfo/emacsconf-org) as well, for discussions related to organizing the
 conference by the EmacsConf organizers and volunteers.